Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
