You're so nebulous sometimes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
