Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
