my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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