you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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