I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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