I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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