Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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