How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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