How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
