Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
