How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
