I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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