You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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