seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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