so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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