everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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