I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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