Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
