don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
