I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sobbing to NWA
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
