We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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