Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
