"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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