I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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