Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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