For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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