I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
