I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
