Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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