did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize