it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need to sanitize my soul.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i think im in europe. pls send help
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
