I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize