either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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