I just pynch a tree in the face
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize