The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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