i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize