I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
