thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i'm inner monologue high
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
