There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
a search helicopter?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
