I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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