I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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