Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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