i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
