I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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