If i come over, it means nothing
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize