Define "chronic" masturbator.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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