How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I supernannyed him into submission
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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