My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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