Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
