I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
