Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You ruined the universe
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
