So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she pinky promised me she was 18
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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