I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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