You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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