It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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