She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Use "feeling words"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.