i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.