Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer