Some milfs here doing some blow
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.