Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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