did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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