Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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