is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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